So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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