NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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