The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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