If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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