I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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