Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
