theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
