Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
