"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
