R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
operation have a gay friend backfired
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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