if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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