And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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