I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Enjoy the penises
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
