I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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