i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
