so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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