I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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