you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Vodka?
Forever.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
