Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
