sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
