You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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