I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
