I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
