If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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