oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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