Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
