So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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