the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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