Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize