Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
