How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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