Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
