O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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