Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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