so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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