Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
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