you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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