the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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