we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
