She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Randomize
