Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
