Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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