apparently the secret to your success is patron
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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