She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
