let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize