I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize