i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
