people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
