on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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