allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
