I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
