I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
