If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
