Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
