It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
