I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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