it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
