They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
