Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Of course I have a pirate flag
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
