Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize